30 means I can STOP overanalyzing things..right?
Hello everyone! It’s been a long while since I posted, and I appreciate you for taking the time to check in!
Last week, I turned 30.
The week leading up to my big 3-0 was nothing short of nuts. Doors closed, emotions ran high, and many tears were shed, BUT I wouldn't trade any of it for anything.
You know the saying, "When one door closes, another one opens"?
I don't think that's the complete story. The truth I choose to see is, "When one door closes, you take a step back and realize that there are a MILLION rainbow colored. music- and laughter-filled doors to choose from." 🌈
I stepped into my 30's with a buzzing sense of excitement, inspiration, possibility, joy, and love, and I am the most excited for the sense of inner peace that I am continually choosing to step towards.
For those of you who know me, I am not the most naturally fearless person. I am not the most naturally calm person. So this entrepreneurial journey has been very much about accepting fear and being comfortable with it so that I can step towards one of those MILLIONS of doors to see what lies on the other side.
And it's taken quite some time to not feel like a huge failure when I try a certain door and I don't like what I see or feel on the other side.
And it will continue to take time for me to practice feeling more comfortable with fear and to feel more into joy, curiosity, and fun.
For those of you who are trying many doors, and also getting into your thirties (or forties, or fifities, etc.), please don't ever give up.
Your joy is worth it.
Over the next couple of months, there are going to be quite a few changes on this blog.
I will always be very passionate about personal development and helping others reach a happier, more fulfilled place in their lives by accessing their inner wisdom.
However, I feel my passions shifting a bit (yet again) and I am choosing to explore where it takes me. Let’s call this the fun sides of my fire-breathing, dragon, Leo signs. :)
So I’ll be using this blog and my new vlog on YouTube to share with you all my personal journey as I explore these new passions and find a way to bring them all together into a viable business.
The biggest shift that’s happened so far is that I keep feeling like I’ve been trying all these different businesses (this coaching business is actually the 4th or 5th business idea I’ve launched) in order to bide my time until I can launch my REAL DREAM.
MY “REAL DREAM” for the past 3 years…
My dream of opening up a coffeeshop/gym/clinic/art gallery/event space started off as a joke between me and my boyfriend 3 years ago.
We had been dating for about a year and he was starting out his doctoral program in physical therapy. He was feeling inspired to someday own his own gym/clinic where he could practice and teach what he wanted without political or hierarchical constraints.
Eventually, this idea expanded into an entire brick & mortar that would somehow bring an entire local community together. I started dreaming of having a beautiful, open, airy warehouse space with his clinic on one side and a sweet little cafe on the other. I’d have art from local artists, friends, and family up on the walls for purchase. In the evenings, the space would open up for community events. I’d organize food truck parties that would spill out into the parking lot to bring people together. I wanted to create something that would also support local entrepreneurs like me.
However, the past 3 years have been filled with my excuses for why I can’t start working on transforming this dream into a reality yet. I kept telling myself I had to wait until Melo was done with school. Or that I wasn’t done traveling all over the world yet and you need to be pretty “settled” to open a brick & mortar. Then I became anxious over how I would raise the capital and increase my credit score somehow so we could get a bank loan to start.
It was very overwhelming.
And in trying to prepare myself financially for this big dream, I kept launching business idea after business idea but, for whatever reason, never sticking with any of them long enough to let them gain traction or success.
We can go deep in here and analyze the heck out of this, but…I’m kind of done analyzing.
I’m done sitting around trying to figure out what’s wrong with me and why I can’t stick through with anything long enough to see success. I’m done analyzing whether I have a fear of success or a fear of failure (I have both).
I’m ready to take action instead of living in fear.
I’m going to follow my heart without any excuses, guilt, or shame. That route hasn’t worked for me in the past, so I’m choosing to release it. I’m letting it go.
After taking some time off to just BE…
And having lots of conversations sharing this dream with others, I realized that I’m ready.
Settling down used to scare the bejeezus out of me. But lately, I’ve been craving some roots somewhere. I’ve been craving community. I want to get to know people. Like really know people, face to face, heart to heart, and be able to help them in whatever way I can.
I have a ton of ideas in my mind, and I’ll share my top ones right now:
Shadow/volunteer/work in a coffeeshop where the owner is supportive of my dream - possibly pitch this idea of having community events in the space after hours
Building an online resource made specifically for Gen X caregivers (this is a population I’ve always been super passionate about)
Building out an online and in-person community of local entrepreneurs and hold regular events that are heart-centered, people-focused, fun, and supportive.
A few “challenges” that lie ahead:
We are moving out of Arizona next Saturday
We are traveling in Europe for a month where I plan to do as little work as possible
I’ll be house-sitting for my parents in the Bay Area for another 2.5 months before returning to Arizona
If boyfriend gets a job elsewhere (not in AZ) and I’ve already started building the community…that would kind of suck.
For me, whenever I see or hear the word challenges in my head, I know that they’re just beliefs that my ego is choosing to hold as truth. It means that I get to choose a different belief that serves me better. That spells out opportunity for me instead of constraint.
So…shrug. I’m going to follow me heart and my joy, and we’ll see where it leads me! (apparently turning into a pirate, here :P)
Here’s my plan so far:
Start having conversations with business owners over email and eventually phone to see what their needs are and whether they’d be interested in joining a supportive local community.
Look up coffeeshops I can shadow or work in for the 2.5 months I’m at home in the Bay and when I’m back in AZ.