How needing outside approval can lead to physical pain

On Monday, 7/9, Rachel and I did a Facebook Live training on our business page, My Body Is Not Me, to talk about a big issue that not many doctors and medical professionals talk about:

“How needing outside approval can lead to chronic illness”

You can click here to watch the video now.

For most of us, we were raised on external approval, whether it was from parents or teachers or friends.

However, the need for external approval, and especially not getting it, can eventually build up into feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and resentment.

And the build-up of such feelings in our bodies can create physical illness.

For example, Rachel and I both have had experiences where others commented on our age or how young we looked and it made us so upset. As new entrepreneurs, we wanted to be taken seriously, and when folks would make comments like that, we felt belittled.

For me, this upset actually manifested itself as physical chronic back pain. Every time I had to go to a networking event, my back would start hurting, most likely in anticipation of hearing upsetting comments.

But over the years, and ironically after meeting Rachel, I realized the real reason why people were making those comments!

Although Rachel is in her early 20’s, she extremely confident and passionate about what she does. When I met her, I let her know that I admired her for that even though she was so young. When I heard those words come out of my mouth, I had an epiphany.

I realized that all that time when I went to networking events and people commented on my age, they were never trying to belittle me. They were sincerely offering their encouragement and admiration as many of them were much older than me.

They were excited to see someone even younger than them breaking out of society’s 9-5 mold and doing something that makes her heart sing!

I started understanding that our own upsets and the need for approval is really created in our own minds, after all.

And the only person I truly needed approval from…was myself.  

If I had believed that I was exactly where I needed to be and doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing and all of it was enough, I would not have interpreted others’ comments about my age as negative. I would have actually been receptive to their congratulations and well wishes, graciously thanked them, and wished them the same.

But because I was holding a belief (it was conscious, but a lot of it was subconscious) that I wasn’t enough or I was too young, when I would hear comments about my age, my brain would reflect back to me my own thoughts.

And there’s a reason why our minds do this. It’s actually its job!

Our minds are constantly looking for evidence that our beliefs are correct. So if you think you’re too young, you’re going to keep having experiences that seem to prove to you that you are indeed too young.

And if having such experiences creates a frustration and anger and hatred, whether it’s conscious or subconscious, that can create a physical condition that oftentimes Western medicine cannot treat all the way with its symptom management. Or it can exacerbate an existing health condition, creating a seemingly random flareup.

On the flip side, if you believe that you are more than enough, you are successful exactly where you are right now, you’ll have experiences that prove to you that you are indeed correct.

Over the years of working clinically with different patients, Rachel and I both discovered that many  for many of our clients with chronic illness also have had similar experiences.

So if you are someone struggling with a chronic condition, we urge you to consider where you in you are needing outside approval and how it makes you feel.

When you need outside approval, you are putting your power in someone else’s hands. But as spiritual beings, each of us have the power to completely create our own lives.

As you can see from the above example, the beliefs that you carry dictate your external environment, which feeds into and proves your belief to be correct, even if you don’t like it.

And when you don’t like your external environment, it creates emotions and energies that don’t feel good, and unless fully released get stored in your body, affecting your physical body and the way it functions.

If this is something you are currently struggling with in your life...

And you are interested in learning more about the work that Rachel and I do to help people understand WHY they got sick in the first place and HOW to release it and recover their health…

Please visit