Which of the Four Tendencies are you?
My coach just shared Gretchen Rubin's Four Tendencies model with me and it's blowing my mind!
I have a tendency (haha) to get inspired by a fabulous idea, then immediately throw myself into a whirlwind of work in which time I feel absolutely incredible and high on life. Then once I start to sell my idea or program that I’ve worked so hard on and I hear crickets, I get discouraged and I throw in the towel. I mope around for a bit, and then get right back into “give me more ideas” mode where I alternate between pacing maddeningly around the house or deep breathing in silent meditation trying to download new ideas. Once an idea hits me, the cycle starts all over again.
So my coach suggested I take the Four Tendencies Quiz to find out which tendency I operate in.
Brief Overview of the Four Tendencies
Upholders respond readily to outer and inner expectations.
Questioners question all expectations; they’ll meet an expectation if they think it makes sense--essentially, they make all expectations into inner expectations.
Obligers meet outer expectations, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves.
Rebels resist all expectations, outer and inner alike.
I'm curious - what tendency are you?? Is it accurate??
Take the quiz here: https://quiz.gretchenrubin.com/
I found out that I have a Rebel Tendency.
Ok, nothing new, lol. I've gotten in trouble countless times for thinking and doing outside of the box. It didn’t always bode well for me.
And I've also always had trouble sticking to things that because...you know, I don't want to.
This probably explains why I'm so obsessed with teaching about habit change - we always teach what we ourselves need the most help with after all.
How to deal if you’re a rebel…
I felt relieved to learn a new understanding of myself and why I think and do the things I do, but I still needed a solution to my problem of not maintaining the momentum for the projects I start.
In this article, Gretchen shares tips to help rebels make changes in their lives. What's weird is that I can see how my parents use some of these strategies to talk to me and it totally works, lol.
She refers back to an earlier book, Better Than Before, in which she shares 21 strategies people can use to change their habits.
For rebels, 4 specific strategies out of the 21 are the most effective:
Strategy of Identity
It is the most effective to appeal to your self identity in order to adopt and maintain a new habit. For example, if you’re habit change is to be more on time to things, you want to tell yourself that “I am someone who respects other people’s time, so I am going to be on time to my appointments.”
In my case, I will remind myself, “I AM a great connector and community builder, so I will persevere with bringing together the local community of entrepreneurs.” And “I am sticking with this new project because I am a successful business owner.”
(Oo…that was interesting. I usually call myself an “entrepreneur,” but somehow, replacing that with “business owner” felt more empowering. Let’s step into that, then!)
Strategy of Clarity
Think about what you want and why you want it. For example, “I am quitting smoking because I want to have healthy babies.”
In my case it would be, “I want to build this community of entrepreneurs in order to give back and bring them out of isolation…and eventually to share these amazingly creative people with my future children.”
Strategy of Convenience
Haha! This one I have down. “I’m gonna go for a run - it’s a beautiful day and I feel like it!”
“I am going to steadily work towards becoming a cafe owner because running a coffee shop and community events feels incredible!”
Strategy of Other People
Rebels are all about doing things differently from other people. So see if there’s some kind of spin on the habit you want to adopt that makes it feel or sound different than what everyone else is doing.
For me, it’s…”I exercise when I feel like it and it’s never the same routine.”
Now it’s just about finding another twist on maintaining the new habit of reminding myself of these statements, right? :P
So what about you? Which tendency are you? Do you feel like the description is pretty accurate? Let me know in the comments below!