LY 42: Other People's Opinions
Last week, we talked about the importance of allowing self doubt to come in instead of pushing it away, especially as we move towards our grand visions.
This week, I wanted to talk about another common problem that comes up as we start shifting who we are being to be in alignment with our inner selves and our grand visions: other people’s opinions.
Other people’s opinions…
In today’s episode, I talk about how other people’s opinions, especially the ones that create not-so-good feelings within you upon hearing them, are usually expressions of their own fear.
They’re afraid that you’ll make the same mistakes that they made and they’re afraid that you’ll have to endure the same pain that they did. And they wouldn’t wish that one you at all. So they tell you what that they think what you’re doing is a bad idea and discourage you from stepping up and forward because the only way they know how to share their love for you is by trying to protect you.
Sometimes, people say things out of jealousy. And jealousy is another form of fear. They’re afraid that they don’t have what you seem to have. Whether it’s courage, tenacity, persistence, strength, etc. They are afraid that they can’t do what you can do.
And the common denominator here is not only fear, but that the fear is THEIRS. Which means it’s not for you if you don’t want it.
You can say no, thank you, and you can give them back their fear. You don’t have to take on that fear as your own.
Why it’s so easy to take on other people’s opinions…
The reason why it’s so easy for us to take on other people’s fears as our own is because we carry beliefs within ourselves that match those fears. For example:
I’m not good enough
I don’t deserve to be happy
I’m not allowed to be happy
I’m not allowed to be happier than ___
I’m a bad person
I/my inner self is always wrong
I don’t trust myself
This is all about awareness and not feeling ashamed of having such thoughts and beliefs. Because everyone on the planet has these beliefs and thoughts. It’s just that everyone responds to them differently.
If you’d like to learn a better way to respond to self doubt when it comes up, I invite you to check out my Self Doubt Guide below.
Steps to releasing others’ beliefs and rebuilding your own…
Step 1 is building awareness of self doubt and its accompanying thoughts when they come up.
Step 2 is about deciding whether those beliefs are in alignment with inner self or not and release what is not.
Step 3 is to transform that old belief into a new belief.
Step 4 is repeating that new belief over and over again.
Practice makes better…
And the best way to repeat this new belief and build up evidence that it is true for you already is to stay on the lookout for when self doubt comes up. Welcome IN self doubt instead of pushing it away, because every single time it shows up for you, it’s an opportunity for you to transform it into your new belief and find evidence to support that new belief.
Without self doubt, you wouldn’t have the same impactful experiences of creating and learning a new belief that is in alignment with your inner self.
Self doubt is good…
So self doubt is not something that is bad. It is not something you have to hide from or resist. It can really be something that is looked forward to and seen as GOOD.
Because the more you think the thoughts of your inner self, the more you feel the feelings of inner self. And the more you feel the feelings and think the thoughts of inner self, the more you will take action like your inner self.
And the more likely and faster you will BECOME your inner self, leaving your physical reality no choice but to show you your grand vision.
Remember your Big Why…
Another strategy that works well for me when I’m feeling self-doubt-y is to remember my big why. Why I have my grand vision and why I want to keep taking steps towards transforming it into reality. Simon Sinek has a whole talk that went viral about the importance of your Why.
When you can remind yourself why you’re doing what you’re doing, why you have such a grand vision, why you want to become your inner self, you’re fortifying your decision to be who you want to become.
More practice. :)
Hope you enjoy this episode!
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