when you disappoint yourself
*First published via email on Tuesday, April 2, 2019. Click here to subscribe.
Yesterday was the first day I missed an email to you guys since January! I was feeling pretty bummed about it and worried if it meant that my new habit that had been going so well was going to slide like it always did when it came to my business.
But you know what?
I let that thought slide instead.
I let it go through my brain and body as well as I could. I let the feeling of disappointment pass through by acknowledging it and thanking it. And when I did that, it left!
And today, instead of continuing to feel disappointed in myself and waking up and dreading writing an email, I'm excited!
On Sunday, we signed a lease!
We have an address now!! And we got the beautiful, bright, freshly remodeled apartment that all 3 of us wanted. So yesterday, we had our longest day here yet. 12 hours of running around the island buying things, moving things, and hauling things.
Because of the time zone difference here (3 hours behind PST) by the time we got back to our Airbnb at 9:30pm, I was pooped.
So here I am, doing my best to practice what I teach. :) And honestly, it really works.
We have enough guilt and shame in our lives. It's not more that we need to keep us going or to keep us "moving forward." That's the ego feeding us its trickery trying to keep us where we've always been. If we are used to feeling guilt and shame all the time, the ego does its best to not only keep those thoughts and feelings going in our lives, but it also hides the fact that it does this from us! Real twisty stuff.
So first step is awareness. Build awareness of your thoughts and feelings.
And step two is to build acceptance. Accept your thoughts and feelings no matter what they sound and look like. If you think of your thoughts and feelings as small children, because that's essentially what they are, you can see that all they need is love and acceptance, not more resisting or reprimanding.
I know it feels counterintuitive, especially with all the positive thinking stuff going on. And this is exactly why positive thinking oftentimes "doesn't work." It works when used correctly. But many of us interpret it incorrectly and think that we need to further shame our "negative" thoughts and feelings.
So instead of labeling any of our thoughts and feelings as positive or negative, just call it what it is. If you're having an "I'm so stupid" thought or an "ashamed" feeling, just call it that. And then move on to accepting and loving this as a part of yourself (ego), and watch as it disappears and you feel loads better.
PS: Did you catch yesterday's new podcast by any chance? When we make the decision to get help from a professional, it's very common for us to worry about how we are going to be judged by others. It took me 5 years before I finally went to (psycho)therapy and 6 whole months to even try a simple hypnotherapy session! There's a lot of stigma around differing healing modalities (don't even get me started on what some people say about shamans and reiki!) So in this episode, you'll hear how you can best handle the stigma of getting help...so you can finally do what you want and need to do for yourself!
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As a coach, I am still constantly learning how to create the life I desire and manage challenges that come up along the way. I started writing daily emails sharing personal stories, examples, and responses to questions in the hopes that it can also spark something great for readers like you.
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