treat life like a buffet

*First published via email on Wednesday, February 20, 2019. Click here to subscribe.

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Ok, funny question - when you walk into a buffet that you've been dying to eat at, how do you go about getting food?

I usually walk up with my plate and I get a little bit of everything (unless it really looks gross), so I can try it all and go back for seconds for the good stuff. My mom is the same way, so when we go together, we always share our bites. So we don't waste stomach space, you know?

My dad, brother, and Melo are more similar. They walk up with their plates and they only get stuff that looks really good to them. Then when we tell them something not on their plates is good, they might go back to try that thing we thought was good.

I was listening to a James Wedmore podcast episode the other day (The Mind Your Business Podcast, Episode 238 ), and he talked about how life is like a buffet.

You get a whole wide range of things to try and experience, and you are by no means obligated to try any of it. You try as much as you want. And you try it however you want.

And when you try something that you don't like, you can stop eating it. You don't have to go back and continue getting more of the stuff you don't like.

Life can be like that, too.

We get the whole gamut of experiences and emotions that we can choose to experience, and when we encounter ones we don't like, we can choose to not have that same experience again.

At the same time, we don't try something, we'll never know if we like it or not.

And when you walk out of a buffet, do you spend the rest of the day questioning your choices? Regretting your choices?

Not really, right? (Sometimes I regret how much I've eaten, but once my stomach stops hurting from being overstretched, I don't think about it anymore, lol.)

What would it feel like to go through life in the same way? We just choose what we want to try, and whatever we don't particularly like, we can move on and just choose something different.

Without dwelling or feeling guilty or beating ourselves up about the gross experience.

For those who are asking how our choices might affect other people...well, when you choose your food at a buffet, are you choosing to hurt your food? You're kind of hoping to love your food, right? When you try something you don't like, do you want to hurt it? Not really (or maybe you do if you're really angry? Lol I'm losing this metaphor here!); you just don't want more of it.

And life and saying no, thanks can also be that simple.

You can say no thank you with love to that experience, and sometimes, grieving is necessary, and then after that, you can have more (stomach) space to feel excitement and experience new things.

What do you think about this metaphor? Anybody hungry now?

With so much love,


PS: Funny story - I grew up pronouncing buffet as “BOH-FAY.” Anybody else? #halfgenparents #chineseamerican



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