you are your core self...everything else is extra
*First published via email on Monday, January 28, 2019. Click here to subscribe.
How was your weekend?
Something finally shifted for me this weekend. There was a moment when the dark cloud that's been hanging around left.
I reconnected with an old friend recently, and on a hike together, I shared the guilt and shame I've been feeling for the past couple of months. She was reminded of a book she had read that talked about the core self, and in this book, the author explains that we are always just our core selves and everything else like shame, guilt, frustration, upset, other people, external circumstances...those are all just extra.
Hearing this reminded me of something else that another friend had told me a few weeks ago about what she sees in my core self. She told me that my core self is nothing but love, just like everyone else, but the thing that makes my core self special is because I can see straight through the crap that surrounds each person to see and love THEIR core self, no matter how much crap is surrounding them.
"As long as we remember that our core selves are nothing but love," I thought, "everything else becomes extra and can melt away. That extra stuff is not mine, and most of all, they're not ME. I can let them go."
I took a deep breath, and when I closed my eyes, I saw all that extra stuff zoom away from my core self at light speed like in Star Wars. I immediately felt light, like I could breathe again.
And in that moment, I also realized that the bitterness I was feeling was not pressing into me like I had originally thought.
No, actually, I was the one who was holding on super tight to bitterness, guilt, and resentment.
When I asked myself why I was doing that, I heard from ego. Ego's had one hell of a time these past few months, and it was afraid of what we might find if I let go of the anger.
It was afraid that I would find nothing. If there's nothing, then what's the point of living? (Which explains the dark, suicidal thoughts I had - I don't intend to brush this under the rug and promise to talk about this more when I'm ready.)
But when I let go of it all, guess what I ended up finding?
I found my core self. I found that she was still there, underneath it all.
The "coincidence" that these two separate friends were both essentially saying versions of the same thing was not lost on me. Thank you, Universe.
Thank you for sending me these two beautiful people and this beautiful experience, although dark and heavy, just to remind me that I AM my core self, which is nothing but love. I AM love.
And you are too.
On that note, there's a new podcast episode out today in which I talk about how to release other people's opinions when deciding how to move towards your grand vision.
It's not about protecting yourself from other people and their opinions (or from the dark feelings like I had) - it's about allowing them and choosing something else with expansiveness and love.
It's about remembering that you are nothing but LOVE, and everything else is just extra. And you can always, always come back to yourself.
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